


If You Ever Want To Be In Love

by styleandsin



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Based on a James Bay Song, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Model Louis, Modeling, Musician Harry, No Smut, Pining, Songwriter Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 02:09:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13730880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/styleandsin/pseuds/styleandsin
Summary: Louis is a model. Harry is an up-and-coming singer/songwriter. They haven't seen each other in nearly two years.





	If You Ever Want To Be In Love

**Author's Note:**

> The song this fic is based on is called If You Ever Want To Be In Love by James Bay, you should all definitely give it a listen! I really enjoyed writing this, I hope you enjoy reading it! Just a bit of a disclaimer, I know nothing about the modeling industry so if I got something wrong, I'm sorry.
> 
> Thanks so much to [Sam](http://just-end-it.tumblr.com/) for being a lovely beta!

Let it be known that Louis hates moving. Of course, nobody likes moving. But he loathes it. He’s had to do too much of it in his short 23 years of life. Three times before he moved to college and, after his four years there, he moved again to NYC in order to work with Calvin Klein and some other big brands that offered him jobs after seeing his work. And now, finally, a sixth time back to LA.

He was so happy to be back, though. The fast pace of NYC was definitely not for him, not anymore at least. He liked the relaxed vibe that came with living in California and all its sunny weather. As soon as he got the call from his agent about a deal with Adidas back in LA, he was practically already packing his bags.

But the best part of being back in LA was finally getting to see all of his friends and family again. Sure, he made a few good friends in NYC, Zayn and Bebe both being the closest he’d made there, since they were both new to modeling like him. Bebe had a deal with Nike while Zayn had also been working with Calvin Klein, then also Gucci and Prada. He’d miss them, sure, but he really missed his friends from college. He missed Niall’s loud, brash laugh and his endless need to party. Liam, and his level-headedness that definitely made him the Mom of the friend group, no matter how many times he tried to say he wasn’t. Most of all though, he missed Harry.

God, what could even be said about Harry? They’d made friends instantly during freshman orientation when Harry had tripped and ran smack into Louis as he was entering a bathroom and Louis had jokingly asked if Harry was already getting drunk before 10 AM and if he was sharing. The two of them moved into an apartment together sophomore year after a year long mandatory stay in the freshman dorms and lived together the rest of their time at UCLA. Harry was the one that encouraged him to move to New York in the first place, said that he knew he’d miss him, but that it was an opportunity of a lifetime to be asked to model for Calvin Klein without much experience and just after signing with an agency. So, he did, but boy was it difficult leaving him. More difficult than he’d admit to him or anyone really.

Louis likes to think that it’s not exactly his own fault for falling in love with Harry. Anybody who got close enough to him would, he reasoned. Harry is just every good quality a person could possibly have all rolled into one human being. The most talented person Louis has ever met and the most humble about it. He’s so kind and gentle and everything Louis has ever needed in another person. But he couldn’t have him. No, Louis never told him, could never tell him, because it wouldn’t even ruin their friendship, not in the way it might with other people. He knows Harry would have been so lovely about letting Louis down easy and insisting they remain friends. Louis knew he couldn’t go through that, a broken heart by his best friend. So he just never said anything and hoped that Harry would find someone worthy of him someday.

Louis was nearly bouncing with energy, even after spending the day trying to unpack after his flight. They were all meeting at their old favorite bar, the one they’d spent nearly every weekend at in college when they should’ve been studying.

He picks up his keys and phone from the counter, sending out a text to Liam that he’d be there soon.

Niall and Harry didn’t even know he was back. The only reason Liam knew was because apparently he’s dating Louis’ new manager, Sophia. His old manager had recommended her, said they went to college together until she moved away. They had both picked him up from the airport last night and it was then that Liam suggested they get drinks tonight and invite Niall and Harry as a surprise.

It wasn’t a long drive and when he arrived he checked his phone, reading a text that said him and Niall were there already at their usual table. So he made his way in, suddenly nervous to see Harry again. Even though he wasn’t there yet.

They’d all tried to keep in touch when he moved and they did for the most part. But with constant shoots and traveling and Harry writing and recording on top of his job at a local record store, they didn’t speak as much as they’d planned. At first it was texting every other day and calls once or twice a week. But that soon dwindled down to a couple of short text conversations a month, once a week on a good week, and a game of voicemail tag, never catching each other at a good time to talk. One of them had always been working, out with friends, or asleep when the other called. He knew Harry was doing well, but he didn’t know any details.

After entering the dingy bar, he walks toward the back, spotting Liam and another head full of short brown hair. When the head turns, to his surprise, it was Niall.

“You’re fucking shitting me!” Niall shouts as he jumps from his seat with open arms.

Louis lets out a laugh as he met him in a hug, “I’m not, dude! I’m home!”

Niall leans back with a look of shock, “Home? Mate, you’re back for good?”

“You know it!” He says as they broke apart and sat down at the table.

“What? You knew about this?” Niall accuses, pointing at Liam across the table.

“Well, you’re looking at Soph’s newest client! Not my fault she can’t keep a secret. He wanted to surprise all of us, so the least I could do was keep it from you and Harry.” He replies as he takes a swig of his beer.

“Well, I’m happy for you, man!” He says in his Irish accent that Louis was beginning to think would never wear off, no matter how long he was in America. “What’s the gig this time? Or did Calvin Klein let you work out of LA?”

“Adidas, actually.” Louis says with a smile, accepting the beer from the waitress with a nod and smile.

“Well fuck, mate. Good on you!”

Louis thanks him and takes a sip of his beer, wondering when it would be acceptable to ask about Harry. As if Liam and Niall weren’t already clued in on his little crush.

Just then, Liam’s phone lights up on the table. After glancing at the screen, Louis could see his face fall. “Harry had to cancel, said studio time opened up and he needed to get the rest of his song done this week.” He explains and shoots Louis a sympathetic look.

His face must have shown how disappointed he was, but he didn’t want them to think he wasn’t still excited to see them as well. So he put on a his best fake smile and continued the conversation, his smile quickly turning genuine as they caught up.

He learned that Niall’s band oddly has two other Irish guys in it, but also, it wasn’t a surprise that Niall was able to locate the likely only other Irish musicians in Los Angeles. Liam was in producing, just as he was when Louis left. He was one of the lucky ones to get a job straight out of college, his internship at a record label had paid off and they hired him.

Before leaving the bar, he made sure to ask them not to tell Harry he was back, since he’d like to surprise him himself. They both gave him a very knowing look but agreed nonetheless.

It felt good to catch up with them, they only got to talk briefly when they had the time to send a text or make a call over the last year and a half. He was glad it still felt like old times and the time didn’t make it weird between them. He had been worried hanging out with them would feel forced and awkward for some reason, so he’s glad to have been proved wrong.

Now that only left Harry and he had a feeling it would be the same with him. They had become friends instantly in college, so surely not much had changed and they would fall back into their dynamic quickly. Unless he made an idiot of himself once he got to see him again. Louis knew he’d be so happy he’d barely be able to contain himself. He just hoped that Harry will feel the same way.

***

Over the next week, Louis was quite busy. He had three fittings and a shoot, on top of meetings with Sophia and his agent to see if he was interested in any other offers they had for him. He was currently the main face, or ambassador, if you will, with Adidas. However there wasn’t anything in the contract saying that he couldn’t work with other companies as well, his agent made sure of it before letting him sign. He, of course, couldn’t work with any of their competition like Nike or Puma, which was understood. He did have an offer for a shoot with Kappa which he accepted simply based on the fact that he loved their stuff recently.

He was so happy to have a change of pace in his work life. With the Adidas gig, he could pick and choose if he wanted to work any extra since it was more campaign shoots and promotions than runway shows.

However, with the first week of work being so hectic—as is normal, he didn’t know why he assumed it’d be any different—he didn’t get the chance to visit Harry at his record store. He was informed by Niall that he was there most weekdays, so he’d have to wait until the following week. He made a mental note to ask his new assistant to make sure his schedule is clear for Monday.

Louis was currently in a meeting with Sophia that was wrapping up. A meeting seems incredibly formal for what it really is, Sophia is sat next to him on the couch in her office typing away on her laptop and writing a few things down as they discuss his schedule for the next month and a half. He was barely paying attention, eyes wandering to his phone every couple of minutes, switching between Instagram and texting Niall who was ranting about how hard it was to not bring his return home up with Harry. Apparently, they’d both been scheduled for studio time today and Harry had said that something Niall had said reminded him of Louis. Which, made him smile bigger than it should have really.

“What’s that smile for?” Sophia asks as she shuts her laptop and walks the short way back to her desk.

Apparently the meeting is over and he missed a lot of it, considering he wasn’t paying any sort of attention. “What? Oh, nothing.” He replies, distractedly. “Are we done for the day then?” He asks, pointing toward the door.

“Um, yes I think.” She says, scrolling through the calendar in her phone. “Oh! Wait!” She spun around to face him after placing her computer on her desk. “The firm is having a party tomorrow night, all the clients are coming to meet each other and the rest of the team. Feel free to bring someone. Liam will be there, so you could invite Niall if you’d like, since the little shit hired a different manager.” She says with an eye roll.

Louis cackles, “Will do! Thanks, love. See you then.” He says, hugging her then making his way to the elevator, sending a text to Niall to let him know that he is officially his date to this party happening tomorrow night.

***

Louis’ been standing in front of the mirror for at least five minutes, fussing over his outfit, when Niall barges in.

“What the bloody hell is taking you so long, Tommo?” He says with his mouth full. “I’ve been waiting in the kitchen for twenty minutes! If you don’t hurry I’m going to end up eating all your food.” He then takes another bite of the burrito in his hand. Louis didn’t even know he had burritos and considering he didn’t have a fully stocked kitchen yet, Niall probably could manage to eat everything he has.

“I just don’t know if this is alright to wear, Ni,” he sighs and pulls on the lapels of the suede leather jacket. “I feel like the industry rules are different here than they are in New York and they sure as shit are different than they are in Paris or Milan.” He mumbles the last of his sentence, searching for his vans and slipping into them. “It’s not too casual?”

“Mate, you look fine, nice even. That jacket is sick!” He reaches up to run his hand along the soft fabric but Louis quickly swats his greasy hand away.

“Fine, I suppose we can go then.” He says reluctantly.

“Finally!” Niall cheers as he makes his way through the house. “Not like it started an hour ago or anything.”

Louis rolls his eyes, sure it may have started an hour ago, but who really showed up on time anyway?

The car ride there was Niall rambling on about a show his band had played the previous night. Louis was listening attentively, wanting to hear all about it, since Niall had neglected to answer his call. He was calling to ask the venue and time, so he could hopefully make it, but apparently Niall didn’t hear his phone and didn’t see the missed call until this morning. Which, he believed, knowing him and his celebratory drinking habits.

When they arrived, the large room was packed and he was sure they were the last to arrive. As soon as he walked in the door, he saw Sophia talking with another manager at the firm, Clare. Not wanting to interrupt, he hung back, looking around the large room. They were in what looked to be warehouse, exposed brick covering two walls, concrete another, and floor to ceiling windows lining the others with a pretty decent view of LA.

He was startled out of his thoughts by Niall elbowing him in the side and informing him he’s going to find Shawn, whoever that was. Luckily, Sophia took notice of him and excused herself from her conversation and he realized he probably looked like a loser just standing there when everyone around him seemed to know everyone else.

“Hey, Louis. I’m so glad you could make it.” She pulls him into her side and smacks a kiss to his cheek.

“Yeah, me too. You, Liam, and Niall are about all I know here.” He laughs uncomfortably.

“No worries, we’ll get you acquainted with everyone in no time.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He agrees, slightly nervous but mostly excited.

She took him around the room, letting him meet the other managers at the firm. There were five of them, herself, Clare, Sarah, Adam, Mitch, and Jeff. They all seemed very nice and he was introduced to a few of their clients as well. Most of them he’d heard of, namely, Little Mix.

He was enjoying himself, nursing his second glass of champagne when he ran into Liam, finally. He was in a small circle of people huddled near the bar, he notices Niall among them as well. Louis sneaks his way up behind Liam and props an arm on his shoulder, inserting himself in the conversation. Looking around the group, he didn’t really notice any of the other faces. That is until he got to the tall guy standing next to Niall.

His eyes immediately went wide and his jaw just about dropped to the floor, he was sure he made an inhuman, squeaky sort of noise because all of a sudden everyone’s eyes fell on him. But he couldn’t take his eyes off the green ones that seemed confused at first as he looked at the others, then following their gazes and flinching, almost, with wide eyes when he finally saw Louis.

“Lou?” He whispers, shock clear in his voice. “Wh-what are you doing here?” He stutters out. Stumbling his way forward as he launches himself at him.

Louis was severely unprepared for this, stumbling backwards a bit before catching his footing. He wraps his arms around Harry’s shoulders, still in a state of disbelief, really. What was Harry doing here? Why didn’t Niall mention him being here? He definitely wasn’t expecting to see him here tonight or he would have spent about another hour in front of the mirror and another nervously pacing his flat.

“Hi, Haz.” He rasps out, trying to keep the emotion at bay, because he honestly has been waiting for this moment ever since he left Harry standing in the airport with teary eyes a year and a half ago.

Harry grips him tighter, fingers digging into his sides where his long arms were curved all the way around his middle.

He pulls back suddenly, taking Louis by the shoulders and looking at him with determination on his face and eyes glistening with unshed tears and god, Louis was not prepared for a night full of this much emotion and he was thankful when Harry spoke up.

“What are you doing back? How long have you-“ He babbles out quickly, before stopping and shaking his head, “come on, let’s go talk somewhere else.” He says before taking Louis by the hand and dragging him up a short flight of stairs and out a sliding door onto a balcony. He quickly follows Harry to the L shaped couch and plops down beside him.

They both just look at each other for a bit, both with watery eyes and wonder.

Louis decides he should be first to speak up, to explain. “I’ve been back for about a week, I-“

“For good? You moved back for good?” Harry cuts him off, speaking faster than he’d ever remembered him speak before.

“Yeah,” he sighs, and sees the relief flood to Harry’s face. “I got a contract with Adidas, wasn’t up to renewing my contract with Calvin Klein.”

“That’s so amazing, Lou.” Harry lays a hand on Louis’ knee and squeezes, then leaves it there and nods at him to continue.

“So, yeah. New gig with Adidas and they’re letting me work with other brands too if I get offers, which is awesome.” He explains, making sure he’s getting everything, “Oh! And Sophia is my manager now, hence why I’m here and everything.”

Harry had that soft, fond look on his face. The one that Louis never allowed himself to get hopeful about, but always pretended to not be paying attention when Niall teased him about it.

“I’m so happy for you,” Harry says, and Louis genuinely believed him. A lot of the time people, especially in the industry he’s in, will gush about how happy they are for you, but their voice will be full of either pity or jealousy. Neither were present in Harry’s, just that same kindness he always exudes.

“So,” Louis says, slouching back into the couch, “Tell me everything! You’re finally almost done with your EP, Liam said?” Louis asks, "I still can't believe you chopped the curls off," Louis says almost in a whisper with a shake of his head."

“Yeah, yeah. I just needed a change, I think. So, yeah. Um, it’s only got 4 songs, but I really like all of them. Of course, I’ve written way more than that, close to about 30 or so now. So some will go on the album, if that’s ever something I’m able to do.” He explains, speaking in that slow drawl that is so uniquely Harry.

“That’s great!” Louis says, grabbing and squeezing at Harry’s hand that’s still on his knee. “And of course you’ll be doing an album, Haz. Come on, everyone’s gonna love you!” Louis insists, watching a small smile appear on Harry’s face.

“I hope they love my songs, don’t care much if they like me or not.”

“Yeah, well they’re gonna love both, I’m sure of it.” Louis says, turning his body toward Harry. “Remember what I always told you? You were born for this. There’s no way in hell it’s not going to work out!”

And he did tell him that, all throughout college. When Harry was up late scribbling lyrics down in his tattered leather journal and Louis was finishing up studying for a test he’d waited til the last minute to study for. He would watch Harry get frustrated with himself, when he couldn’t work out a melody or the wording of the chorus. Louis would get up and take the journal, set it aside and climb into Harry’s bed, and just tell him, in full detail, how amazing he was going to be when the time was right.

One night, after a guy at a party drunkenly told Harry to ‘stop fucking playing, nobody’s even listening’ Louis has decked him in the face and held Harry as he cried that night. After his tears were dry, he pinky promised him that everything would turn out okay for him. When Harry was ready for it and when the world was ready for Harry, he was going to have his name in lights and people lined up for hours to see him play his songs that were written in his journal. It was all going to be okay, because with the name Harry Styles, it must have been written in the stars for him to be just that, a star.

They talk well into the night, after that. Long since forgetting about the party. They laugh about their years in school and all the havoc they would wreak on their friends as a team, ‘the dream team’ Harry reminds him. Harry tells him all about the last year and a half and how his manager’s girlfriend saw him playing a Fleetwood Mac cover in a bar and insisted he meet with Jeff. Soon after he was put in a studio to begin recording and writing.

When Louis left, Harry was still writing in his journal (a new one, of course) and playing his guitar in bars and at parties. Now he’s going places, finally getting his chance to shine and Louis is so very proud of him.

Louis tells him all about New York and how demanding a job modeling really is and how he wasn’t ready for it at the beginning. No matter how much he thought he was. Complaining about his dieting and training, saying he missed when they could stuff their faces with pizza and cheap beer and get away with kicking around a ball for exercise.

They both decide to leave the party early, Louis having to be up early for a meeting and Harry who has scheduled studio time to write and finish recording the vocals to one of his songs.  
He leaves Harry with a hug and a promise to visit him at the record store this coming week.

***

Louis starts meeting with his new personal trainer, Steve the following week. As a general rule, Louis hates working out. But Steve makes it fun, his gym is painted in bright colors and there’s not a lot of confusing equipment. He’s energetic, maybe too energetic for 7 in the morning, but by the fourth day of his five per week schedule, he finds that he doesn’t actually mind it all that much. Not like he used to, at least. He and Steve get along quite well and Louis likes him way more than he liked his last trainer in New York.

When Louis’ not working out, he’s either sitting in on meetings with the people from Adidas and chatting with Sophia about potential gigs, but mostly he’s just been unpacking his things. Sophia sends Liam over one afternoon to help him finally finish, after he’d been complaining about all the boxes in his apartment every chance he got.

He has a shoot all day on Wednesday, not getting home until nearly midnight and when he does, he falls asleep immediately, not even bothering to shower and wash away all the product in his hair or the makeup on his face.

He wakes up on Thursday to the insistent buzzing of his phone. Groaning, he rolls over in bed and feels around in the covers for his phone. It turns out to be a text rather than a call, a text from Harry. That has him sitting up in bed so quick that he gets a head rush. He blinks a few times, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and looks down at his phone, smiling at the contact name he had set back when they first met in college.

**Curly: Hey, Lou. I’m at the record store from 1-6pm today if you’re free and would like to stop by. Let me know? H.**

He looks at the time then, seeing that it’s past 2pm. He hasn’t slept this late in a while. Granted, the shoot yesterday seemed to drag on and it was quite tiring.

He rolls out of bed and heads to the shower, quickly stripping and stepping in. He washes his hair twice to get all the gel out and squirts a bit of face wash into his hands to remove the makeup from yesterday. He scrubs the rest of his body and, once he’s out and towel dried, he decides to forgo styling his hair. Harry complimented his ‘natural fluffy hair’ once so maybe he still likes it?

Louis throws on an Adidas hoodie, joggers, and trainers. Perks of modeling? Free clothes, even if he is treated as a walking billboard, he quite likes the things they give him.

He’s out the door in record time, deciding to run by Starbucks to fill his empty stomach, and pick Harry up a coffee. He hopes his order hasn’t changed.

Walking into the record store brings back so many memories. Memories of him and Harry studying for exams and doing homework behind the counter while Harry had to stop every now and again to help the occasional customer or stock records. Louis always pestering Harry in order to get his attention. Looking back, he doesn’t know how he was never embarrassed about how completely obvious he was. But he’s thankful Harry never caught on.

The ringing of the bell over the door has Harry lazily looking up from his place behind the counter where Louis can see he was scribbling in a leather journal, which makes him smile. As soon as Harry sees that it’s him, he snaps it shut and stuffs it into his bag, smiling softly as Louis approaches the counter.

“Not going to greet your customer?” Louis asks teasingly, as he sets Harry’s coffee on the counter.

“Hi,” Harry just says through a smile, then biting his lip and looking to the extra cup, “that for me?”

“Well I don’t know anyone else who drinks black coffee,” Louis huffs, trying not to crack a smile, but failing.

“Thank you, you didn’t have to bring me anything,” He says as he takes a sip. “Mmm, glad you did though, I’m exhausted.”

“Me too, Curly. Who knew photoshoots took all fucking day?” He asks, old nickname slipping out without thought.

Harry laughs, “I’m going to bet on most people, Lou.”

Louis rolls his eyes as he slurps the last of his iced coffee through his straw, “Yeah, well a head’s up would’ve been nice.” He’s joking, mostly. If he’s honest he knew modeling would have long hours, but he didn’t anticipate every shoot to take hours and hours, either starting at the ass crack of dawn or going late into the night.

“The life of the rich and famous,” Harry shakes his head, “Must be really tough, I’m so sorry you have to endure all of it.” He says with faux concern.

“Oh, shut it. You’ll learn all about the champagne problems soon enough, Haz. Enjoy it while it lasts.”

They both laugh at that, “Nah,” Harry says, picking at the cardboard sleeve around his cup.

“You will.” Louis insists, leaving it at that. “What has you so tired, then? Late nights at the studio?”

Harry smiles, almost shyly, “Yeah, had a new idea for a song. Got it all written and everything, recorded the demo last night.”

“That’s awesome! Can I hear?” Louis asks before he can stop himself, and seeing the reddening of Harry’s cheeks makes him backtrack, “I mean, only if you want to, you probably don’t. Since it’s not finished or anything, and even then, we hav-”

“Lou,” Harry cut off his rambling, with an amused look on his face. “Actually, Saturday night I’m playing at a small club with a few other people for a radio event. And Jeff suggested I pick one of my songs from the EP to sing along with the single we’re releasing next week, and I think I’m picking this new one.” He smiles, cheeks still flushed, “So, if you aren’t busy-”

“Yes!” Louis was rounding the counter and wrapping his arms around Harry and squeezing without a second though. “Yes! Of course! That is amazing, H! I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else!”

Harry hugs him back, swaying a little before letting go. “Thanks, Lou.”

“Why didn't you tell me you were releasing your first single next week? That’s incredible, Harry!” He says with a light swat to his shoulder.

“I was talking about it to everyone at the party, but when you got there I just kind of forgot all about it, sorry.” His cheeks are still pink and oh how Louis missed making him blush.

“That’s alright,” He smiles softly, “What song is it? Not one I know, is it?”

“Um, actually, do you remember when I was writing Sign of the Times? Just before you, um, left?” Harry asks, moving his hand up to rub the back of his neck.

“Yeah, yeah! I liked that one a lot. What I heard of it, at least.”

“Yeah, it’s that one. That’s the first single. I’m really excited about it, actually.”

Louis just smiles, “me too,” he whispers and then their little bubble was popped when someone walks in.

“Mitch!” Harry calls out, maneuvering around Louis to greet the man. “What’s up? What are you looking for today?” Harry asks with a huge smile, cheek dimpling.

The man just looks at him, then around the shop, “Oldest one you’ve got in this month?”

“You got it,” Harry says, spinning around and heading to the back wall. “Be right back Lou!”

The guy, Mitch, is just standing there awkwardly, so Louis decides to introduce himself, “Hi! I’m Louis,” he sticks his hand out from behind the counter.

“Mitch,” he replies with a nod, shaking Louis’ hand. “You new here?” He asks, looking around, “Didn’t think they needed more employees, pretty small shop, don’t get too many customers usually.”

Louis opens his mouth to respond, but Harry is walking up to the counter then, “No, Lou doesn’t work here. He’s a hot shot model, wouldn’t catch him working here in a million years.”

Louis rolls his eyes and watches Mitch’s eyes widen, “Shut up, you know I tried to work here with you when you first started this job.” He elbows Harry as he returns to the counter to begin ringing Mitch up, “You just didn’t want me here.” Louis puts on an exaggerated pout.

“He’s lying,” Harry tells Mitch as he shakes his head, “He already had a job and we weren’t hiring, they didn’t even really need me at the time, but I begged for the job.”

Mitch just nods his head, “Haven’t seen you in any magazines or anything, I don’t think. But that’s a cool job,” he says.

Louis laughs at that, while Harry glares at him, “Mitch!”

“No, no, Harry. Of course he hasn’t. Who even looks at magazines or even TVs anymore for that matter? Don’t know why I get paid so much, if I’m honest.” He chuckles, “I’m just starting out though. Been at it for almost two years, so maybe you’ll see me in the future.” He says with a wink, and Mitch just politely smiles.

“He will,” Harry comments, handing over the record to Mitch. “That all? Or did you want a look at the new shipment before it goes on the shelves next Monday?”

“I’ll stop by Sunday night and take a look, I’ve gotta run.” He smiles, beginning to back away from the counter. “Have a good day, nice to meet you Louis!”

“You too,” Louis calls as Mitch walks through the door.

Louis’ phone was going off before he got the chance to turn to face Harry again, as he digs in his pocket and answers, he looks as him with a roll of his eyes.

“Yes, Soph?” He says into the phone, knowing it was her without looking.

“I rescheduled your workout with Steve for 4 PM, don’t forget please.”

“You got it, leaving now,” he says, watching Harry’s face fall a bit.

“Good, don’t forget you have a fitting in the morning after training as well.” She reminds him, and he can hear her typing away in the background.

“Okay,” He says, then remembers, “Oh! Wait! Make sure I don’t have anything scheduled for Saturday night.” He tells her, and watches as Harry’s face brightens.

“Yeah, your night is free. Have a fitting at noon, though. Going to Harry’s gig are you?” She says, smirk evident in her voice.

“Yes, Sophia...Bye Sophia.” He says, dragging out her name to drown out her comments before hanging up and giggling.

“So,” Louis looks at Harry, who is smiling at him. “I have to go train, but I’ll see you Saturday night, okay? Text me the details.”

Harry steps forward and envelopes him in a hug, his arms instantly wrapping around Harry as well. “I’m so happy you’re back, Lou.” He almost whispers, and Louis just hugs him tighter at that.

“Me too, Curly. Me too.” They break apart and Louis walks the short distance to the door, looking back to see Harry’s eyes shift to his face, he tries to ignore the fact that Harry was likely staring at his ass, or else he’d get a little too excited. “Bye, Styles.” He says with a wink.

When he turns back around to head out the door, he nearly runs into a blonde girl, she looks oddly familiar, but Louis’ always been awful with names.

“‘Scuse me, sorry,” he says politely as he moves around her.

She smiles in response, and when she opens the door to the record shop, she yells out “Styles, your favorite customer is back.”

Louis doesn’t even try to stop the eye roll that comes on. He’s always been Harry’s favorite customer, so whoever she is must not know Harry very well at all. He huffs out an annoyed sigh, trying to pretend he doesn’t hear Harry’s loud squawk of a laugh. Suddenly this training session with Steve is looking more appealing.

***

Louis is exhausted after his 2 hour workout with Steve on Friday morning, and he isn’t in the mood at all for the fitting he is required to be at, but he powers through it and immediately goes home to take a nap. He’d been up late, later than he normally would have been when he had an early workout. But he just couldn’t bring himself to leave his Mom’s after he was there. After the littlest twins found out that he had seen Lottie and Fizzy yesterday, they’d pouted and whined until his Mom facetimed him and they’d begged him to come for dinner. He was glad they’d moved closer to LA, so he was able to stay well after dinner and even got to read the twins a bedtime story.

After his much needed nap, he decides to order take out and watch some Netflix. After calling up the Chinese place and giving them his order, he scrolls through and selects the next episode of The Confession Tapes.

He’s halfway through when his food arrives, and finishes the rest of the episode and half of the next as he eats. When he’s finished, his phone lights up with an Instagram notification saying Harry had posted something. When he looks, he can instantly feel the annoyance and jealousy wash over him. It’s a photo of Harry in what looks to be a studio, but there’s a girl in his lap, and one next to him, and they're all laughing. Upon further inspection, the girl in his lap is the same one from the record shop. He rolls his eyes and immediately exits the app. He goes to his call log and presses Niall’s name.

“Hey, Tommo! What’s up?” Niall answers.

“Do you have plans? I need to go out. Can’t wait until brunch tomorrow and get drunk and only have a bottle of wine here.”

“Sure, just text me the place and I’ll meet you there in a bit! Everything okay?” He asks cautiously.

“Everything is fucking great. See you in a bit.” He tells him as he hangs up and gets up to grab his jacket and put his shoes on. Leaving without even throwing away his take out containers and turning the TV off.

He needs to get wasted. He needs to get wasted right now.

***

“Every single one of my friends want me to let you know that you have an amazing ass,” Fizzy says casually as she carefully cuts up her omelette.

Louis’ mimosa nearly comes out of his nose as he laughs, hands flying up to stop the drink from escaping his nose or his mouth. This is something he missed while he was gone, hanging out with his family. He’s always been close with them and facetime and phone calls just weren’t the same.

Lottie hands him a napkin and he wipes his face before speaking, “tell them thank you. I guess?”

“It was a good shoot,” Lottie says, “Your hair looked great. Like a cinnamon swirl, I need to learn how to do that.”

He huffs a laugh at that, making sure to swallow his mimosa first. It did look a bit like a cinnamon swirl, though. Was probably one of his favorite hair styles he’s had done. Besides the temporary red hair dye, that was fun.

A loud cackle from a table over gets all of their attention, it’s a group of girls, who seem to be getting drunk on bottomless mimosas at brunch, which is really the only appeal brunch has in Louis’ opinion.

He does notice, however, one of the girls is the same one from the record store and the instagram picture. Louis suppresses an eyeroll. He focuses back on his sisters and listen as they tell them about everything that happened in their lives that he misses out on and was too extensive to explain over the phone.

Lottie is working under a makeup artist and hair stylist named Louise currently, to learn everything she can. She tells him all about the gigs she’s been able to work on and he makes a mental note to call Louise to get her and Lottie on his team for his next big shoot if he can.

Fizzy is still in school, which he sympathizes with her about. But she’s loving it and even has had one of the same professors Louis did. She’s nearly half way done with her degree, though, and Louis is really proud of her.

Just as they finish up their food and get a last refill on their drinks, something catches Louis’ attention. He’s been ignoring this girl at the table over since he’d noticed her, but her phone is ringing rather loudly at the moment.

“Styles!” She all but shouts as she answers it and Louis unconsciously balls his hands into fists under the table. How many people can really have the name ‘Styles’. He knows she’s talking to Harry.

He can’t really hear any other part of the conversation, but he’s obviously concentrating really hard on trying, because he gets a kick to the shin under the table. He jerks his head toward his sisters, both with confused looks on their faces.

“What’s with the death glare?” Lottie asks.

“Death glare? What?” He was not giving her the death glare.

“You’re staring at that girl like she just stole your boyfriend.” Fizzy jokes, and Louis laughs a bit, humorlessly, picking up his mimosa and chugging the rest of it.

“Wait,” Fizzy says, and looks back over to the girl, then back at him. “Did she?”

“Is there a guy we don’t know about?” Lottie asks, talking over Fizzy, “You gave up on Harry?”

Louis’ eyes widen, “Shhhh! No! Quit being so loud!”

“Who is she, then?”

Louis sighs, and subtly looks back at their table, thanking every god in the sky her friends are being too loud for her to hear them. “She’s just some girl, I saw her at the record store yesterday.” He explains, pretending he doesn’t overhear her say ‘Bye Styles! See you!’ “And no, I haven’t given up on Harry, but I’m also never going to say anything.”

“Lou,”

“Oh come on,”

“No. I’m not. I value our friendship more than I want to risk telling him how I feel and him turning me down.” He says, and that’s been the plan for as long as he can remember.

Neither of his sister's reply, they just look at him sympathetically, and he hates that. Just then his phone buzzes on the table, a text from Sophia reminding him of his fitting in an hour.

“I need to go though, have a fitting soon.” He says, getting up from the table and throwing down more than enough cash to cover their meal and a generous tip. Lottie rolls her eyes, but smiles. He gives them a kiss to the cheek each and makes his way out of the restaurant.

***

Louis was late, of course he was. Stupid fucking LA traffic. Harry didn’t go on until 9:30, so technically he was on time, but all of their friends were arriving at 8:30 to catch the other performers and hang out with Harry before he went on.

His uber pulls up to the El Rey a few minutes past 9, thanking the driver before running inside, telling the guy at the door he was there for Harry, that he was on the list. He walks in and immediately saw everyone off to one of the sides. This place was bigger than he thought it’d be, but for it to fit the fans of 4 people, he guesses it made sense.

As soon as he made his way through the sparse crowd, Niall and Liam spots him, both sighing when they saw him.

“What?” He raises his voice a little, enough for them to hear him over the music. “Didn’t think I’d come?”

“Well, you never know with you,” Niall comments, “But I suppose since it’s Harry, you wouldn’t miss it.”

“Of course I wouldn’t!” He says, scandalized really. “Where is he anyway?” Louis asks as he looks around their group of people, making a beeline for Gemma once he spots her up closer to the stage.”

“Oooff,” He says as he crashes into her, wrapping his arms around her, “Gems!”

She immediately grabs him by the shoulders and moves herself away, eyes widening and mouth dropping open when she sees his face, “Louis! What are you doing here? Why didn’t that little shit tell me you were coming!” She says as she hugs him tight.

“I don’t know, I told him I was coming yesterday.”

Anne then turns around, a smile taking over her face when she sees him. Louis removes himself from Gemma’s arms and immediately turns to hug Anne. She had always been like a second mother to him, Harry’s family living so close by when they were in college and Louis family was hours away up in San Francisco.

“So good to see you guys,” He says, pulling back and looking at both of them, trying to keep his emotions at bay. “Can’t believe he didn’t tell you I would be here! You did know I was back, at least?”

“Yes, yes,” Anne says, her hand rubbing along his shoulders, “Harry was so excited to see you, he called me the next morning.” Louis smiles at that.

“Texted me that night,” Gemma says with a laugh, “Thought he was drunk and hallucinating.”

Louis laughs at that, looking around again, not seeing Harry anywhere. “Where is he, anyway? Already backstage?”

“Yeah, they’re a tad ahead of schedule, so he’ll go on a few minutes early.” Anne says, looking at her watch.

Louis takes out his phone, typing out a text to Harry so he can at least tell him good luck.

**Good luck, H. Know you’ll do so well!! Shame on you for not telling your mom and Gem that I was coming!!**

He waits and looks around getting weird smiles from both Sophia and Jeff’s girlfriend, Glenne, before Liam elbows Sophia in the side and Glenne looks away quickly. He furrows his brow, and looks back at the stage to see that the band is walking off, and another is taking its place.

Harry walks out last, the crowd erupting in cheers, Louis can see the blush rise on his cheeks from here as he waves to the crowd and trips over a cord on his way to the microphone stand. He unconsciously grabs Gemma’s hand and she squeezes at as she laughs at Harry.

“He’ll do fine, Lou.” She whispers.

He nods and looks to the stage again, Harry scanning the crowd before his eyes land on their small crowded corner. He smiles even bigger, then adjusts the mic.

“Hiiiiii,” He says, and Louis can’t stop smiling, “I’m Harry and I’m going to sing some songs for you. This is called Sign Of the Times and you can buy it on iTunes next week.”

The crowd cheers again, and cheers louder once the music starts. Harry’s voice is strong and beautiful, even more so than Louis remembers. And he’s changed some of the melody since Louis has heard it. It’s beautiful and by the chorus he is singing along with Gemma and smiling so big his cheeks hurt.

When the song ends he cheers so loudly, proud smiles on all of their faces. Harry blushes as he looks at them, then announces he’s going to sing a cover, and the crowd erupts when he begins The Chain, one of his favorite Fleetwood songs. They all enjoy the song, and when it ends, Harry looks more nervous than he did before he came out.

Gemma grips his hand a bit harder, and when he looks at her, she and Anne have matching looks on their face. They look a bit nervous as well, but they have fond smiles on. He looks to his left, and Niall and Liam are looking at him like they know something he doesn’t. He shrugs them off, looks back to the stage, where Harry is putting down a bottle of water.

“Okay, so,” He starts, voice shaking ever so slightly, “This is a new song, I just wrote it this week, so if you hate it pretend you don’t,” he laughs it off, but he’s no longer looking to their side of the crowd anymore.

“It’s about, um, about somebody very special to me so I hope they like it.”

Louis’ confused, he looks to Niall, who adamantly avoids his gaze, then he looks to Gemma with a furrowed brow.

She squeezes his hand and smiles at him, “It’s a good one, my favorite probably.”

Well Louis didn’t doubt that it was a good song, he knew it was. But it was about someone special? He looks around their small group again, Harry said he hopes they like it, so whoever it is must be here. When he turns around, all eyes are on him. Sophia, Jeff, Glenne, a few other people Harry invited, and, he is thoroughly confused.

He looks back to the stage, the music has began, and then Harry begins singing.

Saw you today after so much time  
Felt just like it used to be  
Talking for hours bout a different life  
Surrounding us in memories

Harry’s voice sounds lovely, so lovely he almost doesn’t register the words, but he makes sure he does, because Harry hasn’t taken his eyes off Louis since he started the song.

 _We were close, never close enough_  
_Where are we now_  
_'Cause if it's torn we can stitch it up_  
_Don't rule it out_  
_Oh no no_

Harry seems to be gaining momentum as he sings the words, passion starting to fill his voice while his eyes are still locked with Louis’. Louis is trying to listen to the words, trying to piece together who it could be about, but he keeps thinking back to the first lines and how it definitely fits in with their situation. He’d just seen Harry after being away for so long and they did talk for hours at the party. His mind is swirling with the possibility that this could be about him. But that can’t be possible, can it? 

 _I'll come around_  
_If you ever want to be in love_  
_I'm not waiting, but I'm willing if you call me up_  
_If you ever want to be in love_  
_I'll come around_

Louis eyes widen when he hears the next lyrics and Harry smiles as he continues to sing them. There’s no way this song could be about him. He won’t let himself get his hopes up, it would just break his heart.

 _Wanted to ask if we could have been_  
_But my tongue wouldn't break the seal_  
_You always had something effortless_  
_At school you were the biggest deal_

Harry’s strumming along on his guitar, still looking in Louis’ direction and smiling as he sings. So, this person went to school with Harry. Well, he went to school with Harry, but so did thousands of other people. He’s beginning to get a tad sweaty now and he lets go of Gemma’s hand to wipe the sweat accumulating on it on his jeans. He’s apparently zoned out a bit, because Harry is finishing with the second chorus when his eyes lift back to the stage.

 _We were young, we were side by side_  
_Don't know when we started losing touch_  
_If you want we could walk around_  
_Maybe that would be enough_

Young? So definitely not him, then. They met when they were 18. Probably some childhood friend or some shit. It’s as if he can feel his heart begin to sink in his chest.

He begins to look around again, determined to find out who this person is. He sees a girl, directly behind him. Blonde, and pretty, she’s smiling at the stage. It takes him a moment to recognize her, it’s dark in the venue and the lights are on Harry rather than the crowd, but it’s definitely the same girl from the record store and brunch. She’s looking at Harry with a huge smile on her face. Louis knew his annoyance and uneasy feeling around her wasn’t for nothing. This is about her. Harry wrote a song about her and is singing it to her at his first big gig.

Louis bites his lip to keep himself from tearing up and slowly turns back around. He doesn’t look at the stage though and when he hears Harry move into the last chorus, Gemma elbows him in the side.

Louis turns his head to her, and sees her pointing to the stage, he rolls his eyes, and takes a second to compose himself to look back up at Harry. Because after all of this is over, he’s still going to have to be a supportive friend. Tell Harry how well he did and how much he loved his new song. No matter how much his heart hurts.

He lifts his head back up and he must have missed the rest of the verse, because Harry’s nearly done with the next chorus. He’s still singing in his direction or her direction. Louis can’t take it anymore, he can feel the tears threatening to spill over and his heart feels like it’s being physically ripped out of his chest.

He takes a deep breath and spins around, pushing through the small crowd of people gathered near the wall. He gets confused looks from Liam and Sophia, but he speeds up and pushes his way through the rest. There’s a hallway entryway in the back, with a door propped open at the end of it. He rushes down the hall and out the door into what looks to be a side alleyway. Thank god there’s no one else out there because he can hardly stop the tears from finally spilling over. Once the first tear rolls down his cheek, he slides down the brick wall and buries his hands in his face as he silently sobs.

Louis tries to breathe through his crying, tries to calm himself down, but nothing is working. He knew this would happen eventually, Harry would find someone and fall in love, of course he would. He’s the best person Louis has ever known, and he deserves someone to love him. He just wishes it could be him, but he can only blame himself for always holding back. Now Louis will just have to put on his best fake smile and be the happy and supportive best friend Harry needs. Even if it tears him apart inside.

He decides he can’t do this, not here, so he gets up and begins walking as he simultaneously tries to get his phone out of his pocket to order an uber and wipe the tears from his eyes. He’s walked about a block from the theater before ordering it, just in case anyone tried to come out and look for him. He couldn’t deal with that, not right now.

Louis tries his best not to cry on his way back home and is successful until he reaches his door, then all bets are off as he hiccups a sob as he unlocks his door and throws himself down on his couch. He cries until he can’t anymore, then drags himself to his room with half a bottle of wine he found in his fridge and cries into his pillow until he can’t anymore.

***

The next thing he knows there’s an insistent banging on his door. It startles him out of his sleep, but he figures it must be Niall or Liam maybe. He must have fallen asleep at some point, because it’s bright in his room, since he hasn’t had time to put up his curtains. He sits up and moves to get out of the bed, nearly tripping over the empty wine bottle on the floor.

He goes to the bathroom to take a piss and brush his teeth, avoiding looking in the mirror. He knows his eyes must be puffy and red from so much crying. That thought, that one simple thought reminds him of why he was crying and he feels the pain in his chest and throat tighten. He bends over the sink and splashes cold water on his face to both wake him up and stop the tears from coming.

On his way to the door, he grabs a pair of joggers and a hoodie and pulls both on in time for him to open the door. He was wrong. It wasn’t Niall or Liam. It was Gemma. And she looked furious.

“Gems, what are you doing here?” Louis asks as he widens the door to let her in.

She doesn’t say anything, just makes her way to the couch and sits down, looking at him as if she’s waiting for him to do the same. So he does, even though he’s confused. They sit in silence for nearly a minute before she says anything.

“Why’d you do that?”

Louis turns to look at her with a furrowed brow, “Do what?”

Gemma sighs and rolls her eyes at him, “Leave. Last night. You just up and left. Before he was even finished with his set.”

Louis averts his gaze, opting to look out the window instead of at Gemma. He doesn’t know what excuse to give without telling her and he doesn’t really want to, because now it’s embarrassing and silly since there is quite literally no chance between him and Harry now. Not that there ever was.

“I just, uh,” he starts, not knowing how well he can lie when he still feels like his heart has been ripped from his chest. “Didn’t feel good, think I may be coming down with something.”

Gemma just rolls her eyes, again. “He was really upset. Like, genuinely tore up about you just bailing. Last night was a big night for him. The least you could have done was stuck around. Talked to him about it.”

“About what?”

“Oh don’t play dumb, Louis. Not with me.”

“And said what? ‘I’m so proud of you Harry, your songs are amazing and your voice is beautiful. Congrats by the way, on your new fucking girlfriend I knew nothing about.’” He rolls his eyes and lets out a humorless laugh.

When he looks up, Gemma is just looking at him with a furrowed brow and her head tilted to the side, he watches her eyes widen after a minute before she starts cackling. Loud and dramatic, exactly like Harry.

“Lou,” she says after she stops laughing. She reaches for his hand and takes it in hers. “Lou, you need to talk to him. Please. Today.”

“Gem, I can’t do that,”

“You can, you need to. I promise the both of you will be happier once you do. I was being serious about how tore up he was about. After his interview with the radio hosts and a drink with everyone to celebrate he pulled me aside and asked me to take him home. Burst into tears as soon as we got in the car and cried the whole way to his apartment until he finally got in bed and fell asleep.”

Now Louis feels shitty, even though his night ended in tears too. He didn’t intend to upset Harry, he was only worried about his own feelings last night. Harry couldn’t help who he had feelings for. If he was happy, Louis should be happy for him too, no matter much it hurt him.

“Is he home today?” Louis asks, already kind of dreading seeing his face again.

“Yeah, can’t imagine he’d feel up to going anywhere feeling like he does.”

“Okay, I’ll uh. I’ll have a shower and eat something then go see him.” Louis says, nodding to himself and trying to convince himself that this is something that has to be done. He knew it would happen eventually, Harry would of course find someone. He just didn’t have much of a plan for how he’d handle it when it happened.

Gemma stands from the couch and Louis walks her to the door, but before she leaves she turns to hug him, tighter than normal.

“It’s all going to be fine, I promise you that. Just go talk to him, please. He really needs you.” She says softly before releasing him and opening the door and leaving.

Louis sighs, long and drawn out, before he makes his way to the kitchen to make a sandwich before his shower.

***

Louis’ been standing in front of Harry’s door for three minutes. Trying to get the courage to walk in. He’s come up with a plan. He doesn’t like it, but it will have to work. He’s going to tell Harry that he didn’t feel well last night and ran out because he felt nauseous. And didn’t tell anyone because once he was home he took NyQuil and passed out. He’s going to beg for forgiveness and make sure Harry knows how wonderfully he did last night and how proud he is of him.

He doesn’t want to lie to Harry, of course he doesn’t, but the only other alternative is confessing his feelings and he just cannot bring himself to do it. He’s already sort of losing Harry in a way, and he doesn’t want to tell him and for their friendship to fade into something of casual friends because Harry draws back, unconsciously or otherwise. Louis has decided that being best friends with Harry will have to be enough, he can show him love and support and enjoy his company under the guise of friendship for the rest of his life. He should also maybe start to accept invitations to drinks or dinner, just so that he can try and move on, if that’s even a possibility after falling in love with someone like Harry.

Louis takes another deep breath and knocks on the door, and a few seconds later the door swings open and the sight of Harry knocks the breath out of him. He’s beautiful, he always his, but his hair is sticking up everywhere, he’s wearing a thin white t-shirt that’s so worn he can see his tattoos through it. his joggers have a small hole in the knee and he’s wearing one hot pink sock and one pastel pink one, which makes Louis smile.

His face, though, Louis imagines looks a bit like his. His eyes are a bit puffy and red, and his teeth are digging into his bottom lip. He looks uncertain and confused, but opens the door with a small smile.

Louis walks in his apartment and realizes he hasn’t seen it since he moved home. It’s very Harry, a studio apartment filled with plants and books and tapestries. It makes him smile, wider this time, and he turns to see Harry looking at him.

“Haz, I am so sor-” Louis begins his apology, but Harry cuts him off.

“No. I’m sorry, Lou.” And–what? He’s sorry? For what?

“Why are you sorry, H? I should be the one apologizing.”

“I’m sorry I did that all publicly and everything, without even talking to you about it first. And I don’t want you to feel bad, you know? It’s okay that you don’t feel the same. I don’t want you to apologize for it either.” Harry says with a shrug of his shoulder, walking a few steps past Louis to sit on the couch.

“Wait,” Louis says after sitting next to him, wondering what in the hell Harry is going on about. “What are you talking about?”

“The song,” Harry says, slowly, “the one I wrote you and sang last night.”

Louis couldn’t move, had Harry just said what he thought he did? Or was his brain playing a cruel joke on him and making up things to fuck with him right after the his heart was just crushed.

“It’s okay if you didn’t like it. It was probably stupid of me to pull a stunt like that, should’ve just fucking talked to you, but it’s always been easier for me to write songs, you know? So I just, wrote one about you.”

Louis could feel tears coming, and before he could stop them, a few escape and roll down his cheeks. “Me? About me?” He croaks out, unable to articulate a full sentence.

Harry cocks his head to the side, brows furrowing. “What do you mean Lou? Of course it was for you. Didn’t you listen to the lyrics?”

“I. Yes, I. Um, but I thought,” Louis shook his head, confused. “It wasn’t about her?”

Harry’s eyebrows skyrocket, “Her? Who Lou?” Harry reaches forward and places his hand on Louis’ that are fidgeting in his lap.

“The girl, um. From the record store, she was standing right behind me, so I thought,” He inhales, he can feel his voice wavering. “Are you sure? It’s not about her?”

Harry looks deep in thought, and Louis sees realization on his face after a few seconds, “You mean Liz? That was standing next to Jeff?”

Louis just shrugs and gives a little nod, he thinks he remembers her standing with Jeff, him and Glenne were behind him last night.

Harry laughs in response and Louis feels embarrassed. He tries to wiggle his hands out of Harry’s grasp, but Harry just lets go and moves his arm around Louis’ waist to keep him near.

“Lou,” He says, and Louis just keeps his eyes down, refusing to make eye contact. “Lou, babe, look at me please.”

And he does, reluctantly. Harry has a small smile on his face, dimple threatening to pop. “Lou, Liz is a songwriter I work with. She helped me write this one, actually. And not that it matters, but she’s both gay and married, so.”

He can feel his cheeks redden, he feels silly, and embarrassed, but he still cannot begin to process that the song Harry wrote and just performed was about him. How was that possible?

“Why, though?” He asks, not being able to wrap his mind around it all. “Why me, and why now?”

“I think I’ve always kind of been in love with you,” Harry says, simply, like that isn’t something that Louis thought he would only be able to hear in his wildest dreams. “I wanted to tell you, before you left, but I didn’t want to hold you back I guess?”

“You could never hold me back Haz, fuck, do you know how long I have dreamed about this? A fucking embarrassing amount.” And he guesses he’s just laying it all out on the table now, isn’t he? “Didn’t think you wanted me.”

Harry doesn’t reply to that, he just snakes his other arm around him and pulls him into a hug, burying his face in his neck. “Always wanted you, was afraid you didn’t want me.” Harry whispers.

“How could I not?” Harry squeezes him tighter, and Louis realizes he hadn’t said it yet, so he pulls back and looks into Harry’s eyes. “I love you too, so much.”

Harry smiles, both dimples out, and Louis leans forward and presses their lips together.

“Thank you for writing me a song, I loved it.” He says against his lips, kissing him again.

“There will be more, promise.”

Louis just smiles, and lays his head on Harry’s shoulder. "I was going to lie to you,” He says and Harry lets out a surprised laugh.

“Lie about what?”

“Was gonna say I felt sick last night, that’s why I left. But I really just ran out and cried. A lot.” Louis explains as he traces his finger over Harry’s eagle tattoo.

A sort of broken noises escapes Harry’s mouth and he squeezes Louis tighter. “I’m so sorry, I cried too, thought I blew it and you were mad.”

Louis picks his head up from his shoulder and looks at him, bringing a hand up to his cheek and poking his thumb in until his dimple appears. “I was prepared to suck it up and still be best friends with you even though you had a girlfriend. Was going to tear me apart, eventually. But I knew I couldn’t lose you.”

Harry pouts and leans forward to capture his lips in a kiss, “What about now that I have a boyfriend? We can still be best friends, right?” He says with a smirk.

“Boyfriend?” Louis leans forward and wraps his arm around Harry’s waist, causing them to fall backward on the couch, he leans down and kisses Harry once more. “I like the sound of that.”

Harry just giggles and wraps a hand around Louis’s neck and pulls him down for another kiss.

***

**2 Years Later**

“Hello,” Harry addresses the crowd and is met with deafening screams, Louis can’t help the smile that takes over his face. “I’m Harry, and I’m from… Here.” The screams get louder, somehow and Louis giggles a little, Harry would introduce himself at his own concert.

Louis almost wouldn’t be able to believe the level of fame Harry had achieved so quickly if he was anyone besides Harry. But of course millions were drawn to him like a moth to a flame. Not only was he oozing talent, but he was kind and quirky and inclusive and it was so very difficult to not like him.

He just bops along to all his songs, standing in the roped off section that held all of their friends and family. He dances along with his littlest siblings to all the upbeat songs and records a video or two of his favorite ones. He watches Harry prance around the stage while he sings and dances, occasionally talking to and joking around with the crowd.

As the show is coming to a close, Harry stops to speak with the crowd once more to introduce his next to last song.

“I’d like to take a moment to thank you all for coming, I can’t do this if you don’t come, and I love performing, so thank you for coming out to support me.” He stops and walks toward the mic stand to place it back on there. He scans the crowd and meets Louis’ eyes and Louis swears he can see his dimples from here. “All of these songs have been dedicated to you all, for always treating me so lovely and always being there to support me, but this next one I’d like to dedicate to my wonderful husband.”

One loud, united “Awwww” is the only thing heard after that and Louis can feel his cheeks heating up and several sets of eyes on him, but he doesn’t look away from Harry, even though he does shake his head at him for embarrassing him.

“Yes, yes, so sweet I know,” Harry says, motioning for the crowd to settle, “In all seriousness, I don’t know where I would be without him, so this song is for you, Lou.” He says into the mic, smiling at Louis before the opening to Sweet Creature plays.

Louis smiles his way through the song, Harry’s eyes not leaving his once. He feels choked up by the end, so many emotions running through his mind, but mostly he’s proud. Proud and happy.

Halfway through Harry belting out the lyrics to Sign of the Times, he and the rest of their close friends and family make their way backstage, so they can greet Harry when he comes off stage.

Louis is standing against the wall of the very large room backstage filled with about 20 or so people, chatting with Gemma when Harry bursts through door. It startles Louis and he only has a moment to act once he realizes what Harry’s doing, he side steps Gemma, and places his beer on the table before opening his arms wide as Harry comes crashing into him.

He’s squeezing him so tight and Louis can feel the dampness of his sweat soaked shirt and hair, but he doesn't mind. Harry is nearly trembling with energy and he is just so happy for him he can’t even begin to put it into words.

“Lou,” Harry whispers in his ear, “I’m so happy, Lou.”

He pulls back and takes Harry’s face in his hands. “Me too, love. You were amazing out there. I can’t wait to watch you do that as much as I can.”

Harry’s smile grows as he leans forward to connect their lips. "Do you remember when you pinky promised me everything would work out?" He whispered in the small space between them.

Louis smiles softly, "Yeah, I do."

"I'm so happy it did. Turned out even better than I imagined, 'cause I got you, too. Never thought I would."

Louis rushes forward to connect their lips once more, only getting in a few short pecks before they hear a someone clearing their throat.

They look over, and half the room is staring at them with smiles, and Louis can see the blush rise to Harry’s cheeks, but he just wraps his arms around his middle and jokingly yells, “Oh, fuck off!”

Everyone laughs, Harry too, even as he buries his face in Louis’ neck. “So proud of you, baby.” Louis whispers, laying a kiss to the top of his head. “Always knew you could do it. I don’t break my pinky promises”

Harry huffs a small laugh, but doesn’t say anything for a minute. Then he’s drawing back and looking at him, both dimples out. “Thanks, but I’m proud of you too. Can’t wait for tomorrow.”

Louis rolls his eyes, the excitement of tonight had made him forget he had a shoot tomorrow. An important shoot. One so important that Harry had made arrangements to be there as soon as he found out about it.

“It’s just a cover shoot,” Louis argues weakly. “I’ve done a few before.”

It’s Harry’s turn to roll his eyes then, even giving an indignant huff. “It’s a Vogue cover. A September Issue Vogue Cover, Lou. You know what a big deal this is. Don’t write it off.”

“I’m not,” He leans forward and kisses the pout off Harry’s face. “But tonight is your night. Let’s celebrate you. We can celebrate me tomorrow, if you want.” He says as he runs a hand through Harry’s hair.

“Oh, I want,” Harry says, pout forgotten and dimples back on display.

Louis laughs and takes Harry by the hand, “Come on, we have alcohol to drink and compliments to accept!”

Harry follows him, laughing and squeezing his hand. And, yeah, Louis knew all of this would become a reality for Harry that night that he pinky promised that it would be. The fame, the shows, the fans. He just never dreamed he would be so lucky to be apart of it too, right by his side.

And when Harry is reprimanded for pulling funny faces and disrupting Louis’ focus and concentration during his shoot the following day, Louis can’t believe that every day he somehow falls more in love with his boy.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the [fic post](http://styleandsin.tumblr.com/post/171072296729/if-you-ever-want-to-be-in-love-by) if you'd like to give it a reblog or if you want to come talk to me on [tumblr](http://styleandsin.tumblr.com/). :)


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